


Confusion

by Sinbastiao



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angstober, Bait, Day 3, Delirium, Haikyuu-tober, Inktober, M/M, Not with KinKuni okay? okay, Original Character Death(s), Undoso, Whump-Tober, prompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-12-23 20:04:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21087047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sinbastiao/pseuds/Sinbastiao
Summary: One, two, three, maybe more, beer cans to forget what happened.





	Confusion

**Author's Note:**

> Day 3  
Prompts:
> 
> Prompts:  
– Mine: I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re beautiful.  
– Angstober: You weren't here when I needed you the most  
– Inktober: Bait  
– Whump-tober: Delirium  
– Haikyuu-tober: Kunimi  
– Nyah's drabble challenge: Undoso (Wavy)   
~
> 
> Hey, hey! I hope you enjoy this! I wrote this fanfic as much confused I could to show you how confused Kunimi is. You will understand when reading. Alas, I'm no mental health expert, so don't expect a realistic portrayal of delirium... I tried my best...
> 
> I posted this on Twitter and on Tumblr.~ Maybe will post the Portuguese version in the future.
> 
> Have a good reading!

Kunimi stared at the beer can in his hand in a state of pitiful confusion. At some point, he had fallen asleep on the couch. At some point, he had opened the can and drunk. At some point, he had fetched the beer.

At some point that he didn't remember.

He stayed that way until he looked away and focused on the white wall of his room, not even noticing in the chaos that room was.

Or his own chaos.

The pain came and went, like a wave. And in the wavy state he was in, Kunimi merely closed his eyes, the pain didn’t exist in his weak memory. It couldn’t. He and his boyfriend were a happy, very happy couple. They were. It was his fault, his alone. His personality was bad, so his boyfriend (or rather ex) was angry.

These were the lies his mind told him, whispering like the devil on his shoulder.

_ “I just wanted to let you know that I think you're beautiful,” _ was what the ex had told him the first time they met. There was something there that captivated Kunimi, but he didn't know what. Something in that sentence triggered confused feelings in him.

Oh, he didn't remember why he'd loved his ex.

Kunimi had loved him, hadn't he?

" _ Ah, sorry _ ," Kunimi heard, in his mind. Who was talking?  _ “It wasn't my intention to stare so much, but… I just wanted to let you know that I think you're beautiful.” _

That wasn’t the voice of the ex. Who had told him that?

Kunimi forced the memory, but nothing came to mind – a real vacuum, empty.

He looked back at the beer can and drank some more. He forgot what he was thinking, as if he had never been thinking. He refocused on the white wall.

What a pitiful state he was in.

The phone vibrated for a few seconds, but it seemed centuries to him. Kunimi's apathy became irritability and he answered with a grunt; a mixture of anger and pain.

“Kunimi? Hi, sorry to be calling, but you didn't respond to the messages…”

Another grunt. Who was talking? He knew he knew the voice, but couldn't associate it with any face. However, person was worried. Maybe Kunimi had sent some weird message.

"Hm… are you ok?"

"No."

"What?! Wait, wait, I'm almost through your station, I'll see you!”

"Huh? I don’t need that. I think."

He looked down at his arms. He had black marks and they hurt. Where had he made these marks?

Ah. Yes. The ex.

His ex-boyfriend was violent, wasn't he?

But they loved each other.

No, wait... He couldn't remember.

Another sip of beer. His throat burned. He wasn't the type to be drinking, how had he ended up like that? Actually, when the call was disconnected? It must have been him turning it off in a fumbling motion. Oh, it really didn't matter.

He closed his eyes, letting drowsiness hug him tightly, almost crushing him in pain. The whole body hurt. The bruises were ugly. Horrible. Maybe it would have been nice to break up with his boyfriend.

Wait, when did he break up with him?

  
  


His heart pounded in panic when he heard the doorbell ring. He suddenly opened his eyes and jumped off the couch. The can fell to the ground like a bait falls into the lake, and the sound caught the eye…

And the doorbell rang again.

He had to go open the door, not remembering who was coming.

He opened the door and saw Kindaichi, dressed in a suit. Oh yes, he worked in an office now, didn't he? He looks good with it.

"Kunimi- Oh my God, what-" Kindaichi was pale, how strange. “A-Are you ok?! You are covered in blood!”

Blood? He looked down at his hands, then at his white shirt. Ah. Blood. So much blood. Where did it come from?

Oh yes, now he remembered.

The ex-boyfriend was in the kitchen, wasn't he?

He wasn’t breathing.

Kunimi felt his heart beating again in panic. What had he done?

His memories were confused. They were inside his head, but they twirled nonstop, without rest, without letting him try to understand. The ex-boyfriend was in front of him, shouting – how recurring it was – and it was him who took the knife, not Kunimi. It was him, the ex, who pointed the knife to Kunimi.

But at some point- His head hurt, the memories screamed at him.

And when he realized, his face was wet with tears and Kindaichi was hugging him, trying to calm him down from a panic attack.

How warm was Kindaichi… So comfortable…

"You weren't here when I needed you the most..." Kunimi muttered, between sobs and squeezed Kindaichi even more, not wanting to let go, and ignoring the aches that the body exclaimed. He felt he was going to be lost in the confusion of his head.

"Shh, I'm here now..."

As a small incantation, Kunimi remembered the first time he had spoken with Kindaichi. It was a practice in the morning. Kindaichi kept looking at him like a fascinated child. How young, how naïve they were.

_ "What is it?" _ Kunimi asked, raising one eyebrow.

_ "Ah, sorry," _ Kindaichi said, scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment. “ _ It wasn't my intention to stare so much, but… I just wanted to let you know that I think you're beautiful. _ ”

Ah, they both blushed. They were just kids who still couldn't handle their feelings.

But now it was late. So late.

Nothing would wipe away the blood he had on his hands, which flowed waverly and free.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this :'3
> 
> Again, I'm no mental health expert!
> 
> Anyway, see you later~


End file.
